Fairy Tale #1

Little Red Riding Hood went to visit her grandmother, but I don’t remember why. Maybe she was bringing her something?
 
Her grandmother lived all by herself, alone, which seems pretty strange. She still had family — she had a granddaughter, after all. Maybe she was a bad person? Maybe she was racist? So why did Little Red Riding Hood go visit her if she’d been ostracized? It could’ve been a guilt thing.
 
When she arrived her grandmother was already dead. The wolf had eaten her whole. That would’ve taken a while, right? Also, this wolf must’ve been huge. And crazy smart. The wolf in this story is terrifying. When people first heard it, they should’ve gone out and killed every wolf they saw. Even the ones that couldn’t talk. Even the small ones.
 
So the wolf, dressed like Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother, got under the covers, just lying there. But how long had it been in those clothes, just waiting around? It’s beyond insane. And Little Red Riding Hood walked up, completely fooled by the wolf’s voice and, like, a bonnet, and I don’t remember how the story ends, but it’s not with Little Red Riding Hood dying, so it’s got to be the wolf.
 
This is the kind of thing a drunk person tells you if you ride mass transit in the middle of the day.